30 November 2006

Coffee Chains, Bike Chains, Power Chains

Coffee to go isn't such a popular idea in Berlin.  People like to be European.  People are European.  They like their hot drink in a mug.  They like to sit down at a table, to chat, to drag on a cigarette and blow out swirling shapes.  Latte macchiatos are grand affairs, served in large, clear glasses with dollops of foam that makes an American Starbucks barista look like the amateur she is.  In the afternoon, expect a piece of kuchen alongside that espresso.  Happy thought indeed.

This being said, let it be known that the coffee here--regular, black coffee--is terrible.  Everywhere.  Only the big chains serve decent black coffee.  And I don't like big chains.

Another terrible thing?  German drivers.  Ghastly.  Truly horrifying.  As Jessie says, this is why German cars are so good.  I have never seen such horrible driving - they have absolutely no idea what to do, where to turn the car, how far to pull forward or back out.  Given the number of bicycle riders in Berlin, myself included, it's amazing there aren't more cycling fatalities on the roads.  This, I suspect, is why cyclists ride on the sidewalks.

The practice situation has somewhat resolved itself this week because I didn't go to German class.  Sadly, playing hooky isn't a permanent solution, and starting tomorrow, I must resume the student life.  However, I do appreciate all the suggestions that my concerned readers put forward.  It just so happens that my favorite is also the most practical - a chain saw.  Easy to fold up and carry around in my pocket, of course.  

A chain saw. Imagine the fear of those who dare disturb my practice!  Imagine the power I will have over the piano!

You evil black monster, if I hear any wrong notes, I WILL HACK YOU TO BITS!!!!!!

It'll wish it had never left those innocent, by-gone days in the forest as a young sapling.

I WILL PUNISH YOU LIKE YOU PUNISH ME!!!!!!

*whirrrrrrzzzzzzKKKKHHHCKHCKHCKCHKHKHKHETHEKTH*

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

i feel like taking that chainsaw to my computer sometimes. I can't wait to hear you play again (my music, too?) I might be writing a cue for the oprah library.... let's hope it makes it.....!

ACN said...

Oh Joe,

You really CAN wait to hear me again. I think I get worse daily. But I try. :)

D0nnaTr0y said...

I'm sorry... bad black coffee???? How are you surviving???? What are you supposed to do? Drink espresso all day, I think not! I'm so surprised, and saddened for you. I can think of no solutions other than maybe you should open a coffee cart yourself! I'm sure there are others that feel the same. Then you could serve GOOD coffee AND have enough money for a really hot apartment!!

Anonymous said...

...I miss those cafes...

I mean, yeah sometimes you want some coffee to go, but damn, there's nothing like enjoying a nice cappucino on a sunny day outside taking in the lovely streets of Deutschland...::sigh:: :(